placenta three ways

hometown girl and i met last night in union square and caught up on a few things – i discussed space docking and she placenta recipes -- please read the warning at the top of this link – you know what you will be reading about so don't do it if you don't think you can handle it -- but you REALLY should.

i guess i’ve heard of eating a placenta after birth – but when hometown girl was telling me about it i kept imagining people keeping placenta as a staple in their homes ... honey would you please pass me the dried placenta in the cabinet – it’s behind the fresh pepper.

the following are a couple of my favorite parts:

Making Placenta Prints
This may appeal to some of you who enjoy doing artistic endeavors. Before the birth, pick up a few sheets of nice quality art paper. This can be watercolor paper, or some of the really unique specialty papers found in an art supply store. After the birth, take the fresh placenta and lay it out on the paper. You can make the prints with the blood that covers it, or wipe it off and put ink or paint on it first. To get the best prints, make sure there isn't too much or too little fluid for the print. Many parents have found this to be a fun activity as well as giving them a very unique, artistic keepsake of their pregnancy.

Membrane Art
As a student midwife I saw a beautiful "picture" up at a woman's house. It looked like an image of an angel. It was in fact the caul. Their last baby had been born with the membranes intact and the mother asked a friend to put the membranes onto a sheet of paper. Ta Da!! It really was lovely!

imagine asking your dear friend to gather your freshly passed placenta membranes and hanging them on a sheet of paper for you ... well i can’t. but i could imagine a friend asking me to do it and me having a good time.

Placenta Roast:
All "food" should be properly cleaned prior to cooking, and all "food" should be properly cooked prior to eating.
This is a good recipe for placenta, which should NOT go to waste:

and lastly

Many people freeze their placentas ...

who are these many? i am very intrigued. do you get a little gift bag and container for placenta at the hospital?

what really gets me about the recipes is not the fact that they call for placenta or that one of them gives this cooking tip: Work on the basis that each placenta weighs approximately 1/6 of the baby's weight. To prepare a placenta, cut the meat away from the membranes with a sharp knife. Discard the membranes. -- but what gets me is that they specifically call for fresh placenta! would some placenta hungry person really try to use a week old placenta?

i've never really been around a placenta (actually a cow placenta once -- hey i just realized they do not say human placenta -- can you use any animal placenta?) but i imagine it gets kind of smelly ... ick.

i don't know about you all, but if i had a ready supply of placenta i wouldn't be grinding it up to add to my meatloaf or lasagna. i'd be blending that shit up to make me a nice facial. nothing says youth like a fresh placenta facial. just ask j.lo.

*davis mcdavis sent this in -- a placenta feast.

door people

have you ever noticed that most door people in nyc are men? i’ve thought about this for a while and whenever i am walking around the city i try to peak in and see who’s working the door in these doorman buildings. i have never once seen a woman in this occupation. never that is until this last week. three days ago to be precise.

since last wednesday i have been house/dog sitting for some friends who live in a union square doorman building. i thought like all the others they only employed men at the front desk/door. but i was wrong.

on sunday morning i got up to walk the dog early in the morning (6:30am-ish) and passed by the front desk person, said hello, and left with the dog for our morning walk. when i came back in i said hello and went back to bed. it wasn’t until i left for the afternoon that it hit me. the front desk person was a woman – not a particularly feminine woman, but a woman nonetheless.

she is my first sighting, there must be others!

space docking

the weekend was filled with parties, drinks, and food.

friday i went out to meet occasional woman’s pro-footballer sam for drinks. we went to a happy hour, then over to pier 63 for the Q Me Con party it was interesting. dina martina was there doing her thing. and her thing is to wear an extremely tight jumpsuit of sorts that creates a very disturbing camel-toe. after watching a few of the other performances, occasional woman’s pro-footballer sam and i went to cubby hole. it was my first time. cute. but i was ready to pass out in there – it was so hot.

saturday night the jazman invited me to go to a “relaunch” party with him. one of his co-workers had been broken up with and one of his friends decided to throw him a “relaunch” party – as in being relaunched into the single gay world. it was fun.

sunday the jazman had a easter brunch/party. his parties are always such a good time. interesting people. good food. lot of libations. at one point in the afternoon’s conversation one guy started talking about space docking – not that he’s done it but i guess wanted to inform us of the act. i have to be honest, i have NEVER ever thought of this before. i can’t imagine going through all that trouble. and what if you are all psyched up for this kind of play and end up with less than appropriate poop. seems like a lot of work to me.

"man-boobs"

i work in advertising. every week we receive many comments from “the public” about our ads – about the message, the topic, the creative.

we, the employees, usually don’t see these letters, however, a recent story appeared on our intranet with a few choice examples. i am now able to share them with you.

[your] ad's are very effective on Global Warming but the man in the video is distracting. He has "man-boobs". I thought at first the ad was going to claim that global warming was going to cause men to develop man boobs. You should either find someone else to do the ad or have him put on a different shirt.
- Tom K

WHY ARE YOU DOING AN ADD ON GLOBLE WARMING? THE CAUSE OF GLOBLE WARMING IS NOT A FACT! I RESENT THIS ADD AND MY THERMASTAT JUST WENT UP TWO DEGREES! [note all misspellings are the author’s]
- Robert E

I hadn't realized that "global warming" propoganda [sic] now consitituted [sic] something fit for the [your company’s] interest. I'm afraid another trusted brand has been hijacked. It's sad.
- TJ G

Is there anything that the [your company] can do to stop the degrading Polish Jokes? These jokes are meant to put down and humiliate Poles and Polish Americans and have no place in the United States in 2006. Of all the ethnic groups for which there are derogatory names, many people believe that it is perfectly acceptable to openly call Poles "Pollocks" or "Polacks." I believe that Archy Bunker had a big part in letting ignorant people think that was o.k. to openly call Poles derogatory names and making them subject to any dumb joke under the sun. Fortunately, Archy the Bigot is no longer on mainstream television, but unfortunately his legacy continues on. Please do something to stop this obnoxious and harmful bigotry from being so openly spread and perpetuating in the United States. Thank you.
- Robert Z

comments

i was just informed by davis mcdavis that my comments section has not been taking comments. i am not sure what the problem is/was, but it is working now. so if you've left a comment that is not up - please make it again. i love everything you all have to say!

the scrabbler

last night i went to an opening of a new exhibit at the met on tibetan armor and “things” – it was interesting enough ... but the real treat was hanging out in the museum after hours in the marble sculpture galleries drinking from an open bar, chatting with Mrs. ARM.

after a delicious homemade green bean, ham, scallion, and fontina frittata with the Doctor and Mrs. ARM, i went down to phoenix to meet the scrabbler.

i met the scabbbler last year the night before thanksgiving playing pool at phoenix. we were both very drunk and ended up making out at the bar, in the subway, and at port authority. i am not too ashamed. for the next month or so, he and i had a lot of sex. it was a very good time.

the problem was that the scrabbler didn’t want to date anyone and i did – it didn’t have to be him, but having fun sex available whenever was keeping me from meeting other people. i decided not to do it anymore.

one wednesday night i met the scrabbler at phoenix and told him we could only do it one more time. somehow we got into a conversation about the fact that he has all the bars in the east village programmed into his phone with their drinks specials for each night. i thought it was amazing and started looking through his phonebook.

while looking through his phone, i found he did not have one proper name in there. everyone had a nickname. a few of the better ones are:

4 rivers – a girl who peed in a river called three rivers, it's in virginia (i think).
don’t answer that – his cousin
asian invasion
can’t get enough

you get the idea ... well i of course asked, "what’s my name?"

as i scrolled through i saw, “booty call.” my mouth fell open. i told him that better not be me. it was. and i was horrified that someone had me labeled as such.

i KNOW that is exactly what we were for each other ... but i like to think of it as sex friends. after closing his phone, i explained to the scrabbler that we would no longer be having sex and changed my name in his phone to: never again.

and we haven’t.

last night i looked through his phone again – and you know what the cheeky fucker did? he changed my name.

i am now: that’s what you think. i am in his phone as that’s what you think!

i love that the scrabbler changed the name to make a joke only he would see or know. hilarious!

aids walk

last year i did my first aids walk nyc. i thought the boy i was dating at the time was going to do it with me, but something came up and he couldn’t – he met me at the finish line.

i arrived in central park right on time – that is about 15 minutes after the first groups of walkers were sent off to walk, got through registration quickly, and set off to walk. i didn’t realize there would be SO many people. i really didn’t mind the people as much as the fact that i was boxed in. i do not like to be boxed it or blocked in any way. it is a constant issue for me on the streets of nyc.

but since i was alone i was able to weave in and out of the herd fairly easily. i brought along my md player with my favorite mixes and just enjoyed my the walk. as soon as we got out on the street it was pretty open – much more space. the sun hitting us, the music in my ears. the boys all around. it was all so nice except the occasional person making disparaging comments about me doing the aids walk in flip flops. i heard them because i left my music low enough so i could hear people around me – i hoped that i’d run into someone i knew. i didn’t.

i mean who talks shit about someone who is doing something for a good cause. i couldn’t believe it. and i didn’t have any problems walking the whole thing in flip flops. this year i hope at least one of my friends will be out there walking with me. but whatever happens i’ll be in flip flops again. and if i hear one comment (not from a friend) about my foot wear – bitches better watch out.

* hot tub ted just sent me the story about the gay bashing in st. maarten. terrible. who are these people who'd go up and attack a 6'7" man. one of my friends from tobago told me about how he's seen many times, locals and tourists stoned because they were gay. he told me not to go to tobago. i haven't gone.

blind

everyday on my way to the gym i pass by a residence (i think) for the blind on 23rd between 6th and 7th ave. well yesterday as i was walking by the main entrance, a man who drives a van for the blind walked over to the main door, asked the blind guy who was standing there if he was so-and-so and told him he was there to pick him up.

the blind man casually (and not jokingly) said in no particular direction, “i was waiting for another guy, but i don’t see him.”

when i heard this i of course did a 180 and looked to see if they were going to laugh or something. no. the blind man was being serious. who says that!

also check out: future relic -- a t-shirt company my friend owns. good stuff.

buzzed driving is drunk driving too

i wanted you all to know that buzzed driving is drunk driving too.

the friends don’t let friends drive drunk psa campaign recently made a strategic shift to target folks who think buzzed driving is ok. it is not!

click here (then click on the television psas on the right hand side of the page) to view the psas. they are pretty good.

house party is a little painful.

wondertwin is having folks over to his place tonight for a cocktail/bbq. i’m making mini lamb burgers – davis mcdavis requested the meat of a helpless bunny or baby seal but the grand central market sells neither – which should be supper yummy.

a night at the opera

last night i had a date with big brother. we originally planned to go out for dinner, then a drive, and then whatever ... but yesterday afternoon my boss stopped by my desk and asked me if i’d be interested in going to the opera – she had two tickets she wouldn’t be able to use. i said of course and told big brother that we’d be having a change of plans. he was up for it so we went.

i’ve never seen lysistrata and haven’t been to the opera in years and was very excited to go – plus big brother doesn’t seem to be the kind of guy who is ever lacking in fun commentary so i knew going with him would be a good time. i was right.

the opera itself was enjoyable. though i think i prefer watching/listening to an opera in a language i cannot understand. also, i did find hearing SAT vocab words sung operatically a little odd, but i not all together unpleasant.

my favorite parts of the opera were when the soldiers with rather large erections were walking around the stage. look closely at the left side of the picture - you can see his large phallus sticking up.

i especially liked when the sexually frustrated men sang about their need for sex ended with them saying they’re going to have to go find some sheep – presumably to fuck. the scenes with one of the men turning to another and asking if he can spoon the other soldier. big brother heard an elderly man behind me ask, “what is spooning?” old folks.

in the following scene one of the sequestered women in the acropolis sneaks out the front door disguised as a sheep. i really liked the way this is put together – man is horny – man can’t fuck woman – man turns to sheep – woman dresses up like sheep to get a penis in her vagina.

also worthy of a mention were these escape excuses -- “i just need an hour to pick my flax,” or “spread my prize winning wool.” GROSS!

i left the opera thinking are these people stupid? were we supposed to believe that these men weren’t doing it with each other? i mean if they were going to go to sheep, why shouldn’t we think they turned to each other? or even masturbation ... honestly.

(why do these opera folks have such bad headshots?)

at around 10:30 we left lincoln center, had dinner, and then big brother drove me around brooklyn and showed me a lot of things i’d never seen before. it was fun.

while looking for photos of this opera i found this fun photo.

the tube

i love the subway. the whole idea of cheap 24hr transport is fantastic. my very favorite subway system is probably the one in stockholm , sweden. it is like a mini museum at every station. while i was there i tried to go to as many of the stops as possible. i spent a handful of days just riding the subway, checking out the stop, and moving on. i think i want to do that in nyc too. not because it is pretty or anything, but because i am always riding to the same bunch of stops ... there’s so many more stations out there.

i used to be the kind of person who listened to music and blocked out the other passengers – but i realized my fellow passengers are part of what make the experience exciting ... or at the very least interesting. overhearing things – seeing what they are reading ... and even smelling the rank ones. now i am a reader. i try to always read on the subway when i am alone. it is great – i have 45 minutes to and from work to spend reading ... it’s also a nice time to decompress after work or the gym.

like everything, riding the subway has it’s moments that annoy me. the one thing that bothers me more than anything else is a person’s hair touching me. it just drives me crazy. especially when a person has a ponytail and it touches the back of my head repeatedly. very violent thoughts go through my head. very violent ones.

if you can’t keep your hair within your own personal space – it is TOO FUCKING BIG!