mats make all the difference

for my birthday my mother asked me what i wanted. usually my answer is nothing or anything i want, i’ll get myself – it’s ok.

she’s poor and i don’t think she should feel the need to spend what little money she has on me. but this year she pushed the issue and i told her, oh i know – a yoga mat.

a week ago or so stereometro bought a new jade yoga mat and said he really liked it – so i checked it out and asked for the same one. well mine is much thicker (i need the extra padding for my knees) and red, but pretty much the same.

my new mat arrived tuesday night. i tried it out for the first time at yoga last night. it was amazing. i felt like some of my postures just did themselves. i think i am going to really like using this mat.

** the am new york man was not in front of the 42nd street/bryant park subway exit. he moved to the side next to the railing. did someone have a talk with him? a nice steady stream of traffic was able to flow right from the subway to the street this morning. it was nice.

today's picks

these are my craigslist picks of the day:

Bather/Fluffer
Reply to: job-144809938@craigslist.org
Date: 2006-03-24, 11:47AM EST

Doggy Day Care seeks part time bather and fluffer/kennel assistant; Monday to Saturday 11-5 PM. Duties include: giving baths (this includes cutting nails, cleaning ears, giving baths and blow drying and fluffing)supervising dogs playing, walking dogs, cleaning and doing laundry. Individual must: be legal to work in the U.S., have a clean criminal record, be responsible, punctual and hard working. Most importantly, you must love and understand dogs. Salary varies between $8 - $10/hour depending on experience. To respond to this job posting, answer the following questions: Why would you want this job? How long can you commit to this job (6 months minimum please)? What is your previous experience in the pet care industry? Include two references please and note that we will check your references.

not quite what i thought it was going to be ...

Door Man
Reply to: selassieii@hotmail.com
Date: 2006-03-26, 8:48PM EST
Looking for doorman for a members only bar/lounge opening in Tribeca. Ideal candidate will be 6'7" or taller and resemble "Achilles" from the movie Troy, (preferably long hair and muscular build.) Please email resume and picture to selassieii@hotmail.com. Job location is Tribeca

wonder what kind of club this is going to be ...

Research Volunteers
Date: 2006-03-21, 2:23PM EST
Healthy male and female marijuana smokers (age 21-45) needed to evaluate mood and blood levels of medications. Requires 6 visits (10am-2pm) to the NYS Psychiatric Institute. Compensation for time: $420. Call (212) 543-5175 for information.

i like that they're paying $420.

Seeking Pashto and Dari Linguists
Reply to: job-143612023@craigslist.org
Date: 2006-03-20, 4:07PM EST
Seeking Pashto and Dari linguists to provide translation services to US military operations in Afghanistan. Duties: • General linguistic support • Interpret during interviews, meetings, and conferences • Translate written and spoken communications • Perform document exploitation • Scan, research, and analyze foreign language documents for key information • Provide input to reports Requirements: • Excellent command of Pashto and/or Dari • Ability to pass a language test at a 4/4 (ie native) listening/reading comprehension level. • US passport • Ability to pass a government security investigation • Ability to live in an austere environment and work extended hours to support a 24x7 environment If interested, please reply by email for more information and include brief work history and contact information. Compensation: $135,000

right ...

Strangers needed
Reply to: fm2104@rb4.so-net.ne.jp
Date: 2006-03-26, 10:51PM EST
Dear strangers, I am a photographer here in new york doing this photo project called Strangers, which needs help from, well, strangers (gay male only). Ok, here's the brief procedure. It may be a bit...unusual. I just want you to take me to your apartment, and let me take photographs of you and me. It is, in a way, my own response to the long-gone world of the boston school photographers. I wanted to convey the intimacy/alienation that their images contain, but with strangers. Also I wanted to do it so that I can deal with the endless ambivalence towards my own sexuality and social identity. If you found it somewhat interesting and are willing to be a sitter, please let me know. I will appreciate. Thank you very much for reading this, let me know if you have any questions. I hope hearing from you soon. F. Miyagi www.fmiyagi.com fm2104@hotmail.com P.S. Please attach your recent photograph when you email, just so that I can get the sense. I do not care about your age, ethnicity, looks etc etc.

should i let him into my home?

dates

friday night i met wondertwin, davis mcdavis, and hot tub ted for my birthday dinner at dinosaur bbq. we ate A LOT of food. it was yummy.

during dinner davis mcdavis made some comment to wondertwin about his dating habits – or rather about what constitutes a date. the conversation went something like this:

davis mcdavis “you can’t say you’re going on a date with a boy when all you are going to do is have sex.”

wondertwin “yes i can if we had planned on going out.”

davis mcdavis “no – you can’t sleep with the guy until the 3rd date. if you do that before then they don’t count as dates.”

wondertwin “yes they do.”

though i do not fully agree with davis mcdavis on all his points on what makes a date a date – i do agree that if all one does is have sex then it is not a date. because wondertwin always says you can’t hang out with your sex friend because that would be dating.

i love dates. when i was in college i would make all sorts of dates for my various friends. they would of course be platonic dates (because i didn’t have any boys to ask on these dates) – but fun nonetheless.

nowadays i ask boys on dates – and it wouldn’t be bad if they were less platonic than my college ones, and sometimes they are not but i just think that the whole idea of a date is lovely. (you may be wondering what i think is the difference between a date and just spending some time with someone –it’s the possibility of a little romantic interlude.) so whenever i want to go out with a boy – i am very clear and say “do you want to go on a date with me?” that way there can be no misunderstanding.

it was when davis mcdavis said “if you have sex before the 3rd date then it is not a date,” that kind of threw me off a little. i’ve never heard someone say it quite like that before. is he right? how does having sex (and by sex i mean any act performed with the intent to ejaculate) with a boy before the 3rd date make it any less a date?

i am not completely sold on this one ...

adorable

this is the cutest birthday card i think i have ever received.

http://www.hallmark.com/ECardWeb/ECV.jsp?a=0059871781948M104746484Y

birthdays

3/24/78 born – hudson, ny























3/24/80 birthday – aunt wanda made me the most awesome cakes!














3/24/82 birthday party at home with church friends – got a pappa smurf












3/24/84 birthday party at the fradale house – got super hero dominoes, a garfield, and a dog what has two heads (you flipped his body over and he was a blue or pink dog).






















3/24/85 birthday party at skating rink in hudson, ny












3/24/90 spent birthday in the hudson hospital because micah (my younger brother) was still in traction from his broken leg. i was bitter.

3/24/95 went to the rolling rock cafe in rhinebeck, ny with high school friends.

3/24/96 was living in valladolid, spain. the family i was living with had a little family party for me (photos to come later).

3/24/97 during college my birthday always fell over spring break – i stayed on campus and worked in the hamilton college admission office – the admission folks gave me cake. it was nice.

3/24/98 was living in stockholm, sweden. threw myself a fabulous birthday party (photos to come later).

3/24/99 was living in amsterdam, the netherlands. had taken a train to copenhagen, denmark with the other kids in my sexuality program (we were having a week long lecture series in copenhagen and berlin). we arrived in the morning. i had just turned 21 so wanted to go drink even though in it was legal for me to drink alcohol before i was 21. since it was the morning there weren’t many places open. i went to an australian bar with some of my friends. then went to a gay “bathhouse” – it was my first time. i walked in very timidly – but buzzed so not too timidly. met a nice business man from france.

3/24/00 sr. year of college – went with two canadian hockey player friends from school to syracuse. went to some museum, lots of bars, and a dance club. at one point we get separated and i go to dinosaur bbq for food. i’m wasted and looking around at the menu unsure what i should eat. it all looked so good. well two women were next to me and said, “honey, watcha do’n?” i told them i wasn’t sure if i should get the ribs or the chicken. “baby, get that half chicken. it’s gooood.” then the other lady said, “a little thing like you should get the ribs. those are good ribs.” i ended up ordering the chicken and a couple sides. after i paid i walked out to the parking area where i’d left my car – and those women drove by me and asked if i was now lost and needed a ride. thank GOD i said no –who knows where i would have ended up. after a little searching i found my car. i sat down on the ground in front of my car and started to shove the food in my face. i realized i’d forgotten to grab a fork and knife so was ripping chicken off with my fingers and shoving handfuls of the sides into my mouth. the parking attendant didn’t quite know what to make of me. but kept watching me from his booth. i video taped this whole day.

3/24/01 birthday party at my apt in park slope, brooklyn. erin e came and dj’d. lots of friends came in for the party. it was fun.

3/24/04 just come back from thailand/korea and spent my birthday with liz in san francisco.

3/24/05 had a big bash at my apt in bushwick and my friends stayed so late out there – in bushwick. i was so happy.

3/24/06 going to yoga – then dinosaur bbq with gay boys. maybe 1984 in the east village after.

the learned librarian speaks

the learned librarian told me last night that he would be interviewed (by some pbs related production company) about why he went into library science and why he decided to learn chinese.

the learned librarian was a little apprehensive about the whole thing. he said, “i don’t have answers they’ll want to hear. i’m a librarian because it’s easy. no deadlines. no bottom line ... i like information and sharing information.” and he started learning chinese so he could read chinese poetry in chinese – not so he could pick up the chinese boys hanging about the library.

i don’t see what is wrong with those answers. they’re honest and make sense.

i did offer as an alternative to tell the truth the following which would make for good interview fodder:

- when he was young he saw the neverending story (*i just learned that the actual title for this movie is Die Unendliche Geschichte) and wanted to be like bastian living in different worlds. living his life though books instead of actual experience.

- he doesn’t trust people and the only thing he can trust is the written word – so naturally the library is his safe place. books are his friends. (i didn’t actually tell him this one – i thought of it after we hung up.)

- he’s gay. and libraries are great places to pick up literate boys. and in his library it is especially useful to speak chinese since they have many chinese patrons. (i mentioned that he might not want to say “boys” when describing the object of his desire – as there are actually boys who go to the library.)

- when the interviewer asks “why did you want to be a librarian?” he could say, “... Fandango.” (ala jerri blank from strangers with candy – see below to listen to the wav file).

Coach Cherri Wolf: "Next up, Jerri Blank" Susie: "Give me a V, I, C, T, O, R, Y" Jerri: "V, I, C, T, O, R, Y" Susie: "What's it spell?" Jerri: "Win!!!" Coach Wolf: " Jerri, uh, what does V-I-C-T-O-R-Y spell?" Jerri: "Fandango? Hobocamp? Ho-hobocamp."-- from "The Blank Page"

clovis

this is a great way to end my day. i decided to google clovis00 - and came up with the following.

http://www.projects.ex.ac.uk/trol/grol/saki/clovis00.htm

it is full text for some saki stories featuring clovis sangrail! i highly recommend reading them all but one of my favorites is the quest.

am new york

the am new york distributors drive me crazy! i really think there should be some city ordinance that requires them to be at least 10 feet away from the subway entrance/exit. every morning i get off the f train at bryant park. i walk out the south side 40th street exit and there is always an am new york person handing out/pushing papers at people. this i am ok with. what bothers me is that the person is standing 1-2 feet in front of the entrance/exit and every morning this causes a backup of people flowing down the stairs.

and it's not just at this stop that i've noticed this unacceptable proximity to the subway entrance/exit. over at the park avenue side of the grand central exit there is another am new york person (actually two sometimes) who stand right in front of the doorway.

STAND BACK and let the people leave!

the learned librarian, the doctor, and mrs. ARM

friday after work i do what i always do after work on fridays -- yoga. had a very enjoyable (albeit tiring) class - showered/cleaned myself up - and when to brooklyn heights to meet the learned librarian and his friends for a drink and some food.

it was a good time. after dinner and a lot of laughs (see his grace's blog for one topic of conversation), we went to a very interesting bar (the name escapes me right now -- i'll find and post it later) which had $2 rolling rocks, a very fun jukebox, and had people openly smoking inside. i HATE people smoking inside bars. always have but now that it is illegal i feel i am justified in my hate. yuck!

yesterday i went to a house warming/engagment/birthday/st. patrick's day get-together/party in brooklyn heights. it was lots of fun - good food - nice people. at the party i finally got to see the doctor and mrs. ARM. i don't see them often enough. the doctor was one of my first-year roommates in college and mrs. ARM lived in the room across the hall from our room. they basically started dating the second semester our first-year and are now married. it really is sweet. as we were walking back to the subway last night, mrs. ARM turned to the doctor and said, "can't we just go home?" and reached up to give him a little kiss and snuggled in. (they were on their way to another friend's birthday party in manhatten).

other than the fact that the doctor and mrs. ARM are fantastic people, i love seeing them because it gives me such hope that one day i'll find someone who will understand that i don't want to go to another party and that i'd just rather be with that person - whether we're looking at the posters in the subway or reading books in bed together, i guess i just want to be able to have someone like the doctor and mrs. ARM have each other.

in other news -- i am OBSESSED with the really raw honey -- i just can't stop eating it. friday night i had it with me in my backpack and gave the learned librarian and his friends a sample tasting. it turns out that the learned librarian has been interested in trying this honey and after his tasting accused me of being some gurrilla marketing person peddling my honey.

for the record i am not.

really raw

a couple days ago i did some food shopping at whole foods after yoga. i went in for a few weekly staples and honey.

in the honey section was an interesting jar with the words "really raw honey" on it. of course i picked it up and read it.

Really Raw® Honey is totally unprocessed honey. It still contains pollen, propolis, honeycomb and live enzymes -- all the goodness the bees put in! That's why Really Raw® Honey is creamy, smooth and spreadable with sweet and crunchy cappings. Really Raw® Honey is gathered from fields of wildflowers planted by nature, without pesticides or fertilizers.

No other honey tastes as good as Really Raw® Honey!

One whiff of our honey, with its distinctive aroma of wildflowers, tells you this is something special. With your first taste, you'll know you are eating something utterly extraordinary. The flavor is unlike any honey on the market. The bees choose the color, flavor, and texture of our honey by the varieties of wildflowers and herbs they forage. We retain these qualities and all the nutrients the bees put in by making sure that our honey is never strained, never filtered, and never heated.

















i love the idea of the food i am putting into my body having been made by foraging bees. yum. and the honey is very very good.

overheard

last night on my way home from the gym i was on the f train going to park slope. seated across the way from me where three people (an older man, a guy in his 20's, and an older woman). i gathered from their conversation that they were all somehow related. after about three stops i overheard (because they were speaking in such booming voices that i am sure the folks at the other end of the car heard what they were saying) the younger guy say, "... everyone is gay. everyone. it's chic to be gay." the older man replied, "i'm NOT gay. are you gay? i'm not gay." the younger man paused and said, "depends ... ... no. i'm not gay."

i wish i had had a camera on me so i could have taken a picture of these people. i am not quite sure how to describe what they looked like. i guess i could imagine them on the sopranos or in the outer outer neighborhoods of brooklyn. so it was just very humorous for me to hear the guy say "it's chic to be gay."

is it? by virtue of being gay do i have some extra cachet that my straight counterpart doesn't?

with shows like will and grace, queer eye for the straight guy, and now brokeback mountain being so popular in mainstream america i think many people would agree with this guy -- but i don't buy it.

after confirming their sexual identities, these men moved on to a topic of much more contention -- whether or not rationale and rational were derived from the same word. the young man firmly believed no and would hear no argument to the contrary. none. all conversation stopped once he proclaimed they were not related. "they are two different words. that's it."

a google hit that made me smile

every so often i like to google myself to see if there is anything new about me floating out there in cyberspace. since my name is rather unique it doesn’t have many hits when searched in “ ” – so when i saw three new listing on my latest search i was a little excited.

the most recent addition is the following -- the posting was written on 2/14/05 but has not shown up on a google search before.

what makes this find so special is that i never knew about. the author just put these kind words out there about me – and i never knew.

background

the author was writing a response to hamilton college’s decision not to have ward churchill speak at the school last winter and his thoughts about the kirkland project.

this is the nicest thing i have ever seen written about me.

... For example, I myself was a moderate libertarian when I was on campus. I also had the pleasure of sharing my college experience with a fellow by the name of [Clovis Sangrail] (’00). [ Clovis] and I couldn’t have been farther apart on the political spectrum. He was an active participant in the Kirkland Project, the Womyns Center, and probably every other progressive organization on the Hill at that time. I don’t think I ever agreed with him on a single political view point, but he was intelligent, well spoken, and quite rational in his beliefs.

I know that his arguments forced me to evaluate my own beliefs more closely and I am a better person for having spent time in his company. That is the vision I have for the Kirkland Project: An institutionalized [Clovis] ...

*special thanks to davis mcdavis for forwarding the full text of this posting to me.

tina's a bad bad girl

this morning i opened my outlook to an email from one of my clients which had the following link in it -- http://www.montanameth.org/ads_television.aspx. take a look.

these ads are fantastic. a bit intense but good. i think the insight is very smart – not even once.




















what i want to know is how much crystal meth does one have to do before one’s skin looks like theirs?

i mean i KNOW there are a bunch of folks out at bars/clubs who use the stuff with some regularity – but they don’t look like the people in these ads.

my only critique of these ads is that it makes the situation seem beyond help – once you’re at that point you’re lost. i hope that's not true.

posture

a couple weeks ago a yoga instructor had us doing wheels (backbends). my wheels are pretty good. i’m flexible and have fairly good alignment – so he said put my forearms down on the mat – this means i am in a backbend with my forearms on the mat with my hands next to my head. it was awesome! it looks a bit the like the picture below.

the following week i asked an instructor if we could practice this posture.

he worked us up to wheels and then had us go into forearm stands (when we lift up into hand stand (but on your forearms) with legs in a front-to-back v and then upright) from this new pose – it is my new favorite thing. i have even been able to hold my forearm stands for a few breaths.

i love yoga.

it’s amazing how i can spend 60-90 minutes following someone’s instruction and then when the class is over, i think back and can’t quite remember thinking about anything. being able to spend 60-90 minutes without thinking is a very special treat.

what were they thinking?

i know this link to the weight watchers recipe cards from 1974 is kind of old but i can never get enough of them.

I particularly like this one titled mousse of salmon. this is the commentary that accompanies the card:

Sometimes salmon will come to the big city full of dreams. Only to wind up used, and mangled, and reconstituted, and all tarted up in some kind of sick, horrifying salmon drag.

Look, it's still trying to spawn. With lemons. It's confused. Oh, man, so sad.

It's even more heartbreaking when they're young.

and how in god's name did weight watchers ever think offering hotdogs would help you watch your weight?

discoveries

there isn’t anything quite like having nothing to do, sitting by a pool (or beach) in the sun, and drinking your day away. i had a lovely time in phoenix/scottsdale. i’m a little tan again and discovered two things that made my trip fantastic.

#1. scottsdale salvation army – any time i go someplace outside nyc i always try to make a point to check out the local thrift stores. usually they have fun things i can fit in (because in nyc all the slim boys my size ravage the thrift stores and take all the good clothes) and are often cheaper. so on friday morning before my research groups i went to the good will (which had nothing) and then went down the street a little to the salvation army. my hope was that all the slim old men had given up their old golfing pants, which of course is what i wanted ... hopefully in light pink and yellow. alas, i found none. completely underestimating the size of the scottsdale man, i really only saw size 32+ ... mostly 36+. sad. but before you think, ‘that’s too bad,’ and send me a flower or something to cheer me up, don’t worry. what they lacked in pants the scottsdale salvation army made up for in jackets. i found so many jackets. in the end i bought 6 jackets. and when i went to pay – as if being cheap salvation army clothes wasn’t enough, everything was 50% off. 50% off! so of course i loaded up.

the following is a complete list of my purchases:
- 4 pairs of pants $5.89
- 6 shirts $8.35
- 3 shorts $2.43
- 6 jackets $15.35
- 4 bags $6
- 1 plastic face $.50

the bags and plastic face (which i plan to use as a jello mold) were full price, but i NEEDED something to put all my little treasures in to carry home.

before i headed off to the salvation army i was im’ing 'fucking drunk' (temporary name provided by belle's daddy) and he said, “oh get me something nice ;-) x-small.”

i don’t really know 'fucking drunk' at all and definitely not well enough to pick out an article of clothing for him -- but he did say x-small, is gay, and has freckles – so of course i went for a nice tight little number that is a lovely shade of green.

#2. charlie’s – last friday night Gurl and i went out to a couple of gay bars on camelback in central phoenix. they were depressing (and i don’t think it’s because i am used to full nyc bars). so when we went out on sat night i had very very low expectations for charlie’s. oh my god! it was a good time. from the moment we walked in to the moment i left, i had an ear to ear smile on my face. first of all it was packed. second, there was line dancing – serious ‘i’m a cowboy’ line dancing. it’s quite the experience watching a mix of cowboys, asian boys, and gay-gay boys line dancing to ricky martin. in the middle of it, some little young thing goes jumps in and starts shaking his ass. he didn’t know the steps but it only took him a couple lines to figure it out and he was off. i was amazed. later i found out that he and his couple friends were dancers in town doing mamma mia – and the boy who jumped in once played angel in rent on broadway. it was easy to imagine.

now, there weren’t too many boys there that i thought were that cute – a couple – but the space was so fun. there was an area for outdoor beach volleyball, a covered outdoor deck, inside pool table, dance floor, and “viewing stage” – a good time. make sure if you ever go to phoenix, you stop in at charlie’s – i am sure you’ll enjoy yourself.