the scrabbler
last night i went to an opening of a new exhibit at the met on tibetan armor and “things” – it was interesting enough ... but the real treat was hanging out in the museum after hours in the marble sculpture galleries drinking from an open bar, chatting with Mrs. ARM.
after a delicious homemade green bean, ham, scallion, and fontina frittata with the Doctor and Mrs. ARM, i went down to phoenix to meet the scrabbler.
i met the scabbbler last year the night before thanksgiving playing pool at phoenix. we were both very drunk and ended up making out at the bar, in the subway, and at port authority. i am not too ashamed. for the next month or so, he and i had a lot of sex. it was a very good time.
the problem was that the scrabbler didn’t want to date anyone and i did – it didn’t have to be him, but having fun sex available whenever was keeping me from meeting other people. i decided not to do it anymore.
one wednesday night i met the scrabbler at phoenix and told him we could only do it one more time. somehow we got into a conversation about the fact that he has all the bars in the east village programmed into his phone with their drinks specials for each night. i thought it was amazing and started looking through his phonebook.
while looking through his phone, i found he did not have one proper name in there. everyone had a nickname. a few of the better ones are:
4 rivers – a girl who peed in a river called three rivers, it's in virginia (i think).
don’t answer that – his cousin
asian invasion
can’t get enough
you get the idea ... well i of course asked, "what’s my name?"
as i scrolled through i saw, “booty call.” my mouth fell open. i told him that better not be me. it was. and i was horrified that someone had me labeled as such.
i KNOW that is exactly what we were for each other ... but i like to think of it as sex friends. after closing his phone, i explained to the scrabbler that we would no longer be having sex and changed my name in his phone to: never again.
and we haven’t.
last night i looked through his phone again – and you know what the cheeky fucker did? he changed my name.
i am now: that’s what you think. i am in his phone as that’s what you think!
i love that the scrabbler changed the name to make a joke only he would see or know. hilarious!
after a delicious homemade green bean, ham, scallion, and fontina frittata with the Doctor and Mrs. ARM, i went down to phoenix to meet the scrabbler.
i met the scabbbler last year the night before thanksgiving playing pool at phoenix. we were both very drunk and ended up making out at the bar, in the subway, and at port authority. i am not too ashamed. for the next month or so, he and i had a lot of sex. it was a very good time.
the problem was that the scrabbler didn’t want to date anyone and i did – it didn’t have to be him, but having fun sex available whenever was keeping me from meeting other people. i decided not to do it anymore.
one wednesday night i met the scrabbler at phoenix and told him we could only do it one more time. somehow we got into a conversation about the fact that he has all the bars in the east village programmed into his phone with their drinks specials for each night. i thought it was amazing and started looking through his phonebook.
while looking through his phone, i found he did not have one proper name in there. everyone had a nickname. a few of the better ones are:
4 rivers – a girl who peed in a river called three rivers, it's in virginia (i think).
don’t answer that – his cousin
asian invasion
can’t get enough
you get the idea ... well i of course asked, "what’s my name?"
as i scrolled through i saw, “booty call.” my mouth fell open. i told him that better not be me. it was. and i was horrified that someone had me labeled as such.
i KNOW that is exactly what we were for each other ... but i like to think of it as sex friends. after closing his phone, i explained to the scrabbler that we would no longer be having sex and changed my name in his phone to: never again.
and we haven’t.
last night i looked through his phone again – and you know what the cheeky fucker did? he changed my name.
i am now: that’s what you think. i am in his phone as that’s what you think!
i love that the scrabbler changed the name to make a joke only he would see or know. hilarious!
posted by clovis at 9:59 AM
4 Comments:
Scrabbler has great idea - and here I was just putting everyone's real name in my phone - with the exception of E, who I have entered as"E's home" and "E's cell" - and he actually complained that I didn't change it to "OUR home" or something like that instead of "E's home."
I explained to him that if I was getting a phone call from that number, it would be him, at home, and it would be dumb to pretend that I was there, because I wouldn't be.
But that's another story, never mind, anway, what I actually want to know is about "4 rivers" - why is she "4 rivers" if she's only peed in 3? And also, to quote Tori Amos's plaintive query in her song Spacedog,"Is she still pissing in the river now?"
But really, what name would you have wanted to be in his phone? How does Clovis define himself, in two words or less, typed in using a numberic keypad?
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Scrabbler has great idea - and here I was just putting everyone's real name in my phone - with the exception of E, who I have entered as"E's home" and "E's cell" - and he actually complained that I didn't change it to "OUR home" or something like that instead of "E's home."
I explained to him that if I was getting a phone call from that number, it would be him, at home, and it would be dumb to pretend that I was there, because I wouldn't be.
But that's another story, never mind, anway, what I actually want to know is about "4 rivers" - why is she "4 rivers" if she's only peed in 3? And also, to quote Tori Amos's plaintive query in her song Spacedog,"Is she still pissing in the river now?"
But really, what name would you have wanted to be in his phone? How does Clovis define himself, in two words or less, typed in using a numberic keypad?
i will clear up the 4 rivers. she peed in a river called three rivers. so she became 4 rivers in his phone, because her pee was the "fourth" river - sort of punny.
well he could have made some vietnames reference, some scrabble playing name, scrabble fuck- would have even been ok.
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